So to speak

He was long, very long, and he was thin, very thin. He almost flowed around, actually slithered would be more appropriate given his nature. He was a snake after all. Nanda, the snake had very typical snakey habits. He un-intermittently flicked his tongue in and out, a habit which humans would describe to be poking his nose into all else's business. He did exactly that, flicking his bi-forked tongue in and out, he spoke about almost everything, giving his expert opinions, views and ratings of absolutely everything one could think of and one could talk of. There was this one phrase which he so often used that it soon became synonymous with flicking of a snake's tongue, it was 'So to speak'. It isn't easy putting up with folks who have such a never minding one's own business nature, am sure we have all met folks like this? Nanda was precisely that, extremely tough to put up with. As if his mindless talks weren't enough, he saw to it that everyone followed that he had the last laugh in every conversation. How he managed this was to whip out the person being spoken to with his rear. Getting lashed with a snakes slithery rear isn't a pleasant experience at all, ask anyone in the jungle out here and you'll know how it irks them all!
Irked as everyone was, it should not come as a twist in the tale to you if I tell you how everyone championed imitating his ways. It wasn't tough one bit. All you had to do was give your expert opinion, here you've gotto be creative, squeeze several 'So to speak's and end sniggerring and thumping your pal on his back! There you are, you revenge your agony of hearing out Nanda! I thoroughly relished this and the more I did this, I realised putting up with Nanda got easier. Huh! You must have had something similar happening to you. I mean, here you have an absolutely unbearable creature to put up with and there you go imitating him, stressing on his worst faults, getting a good laugh out of everyone, and finally find yourself able to put up with that unbearable creature. I know, its a strange remedy for a problem like this :) Off course there are a few of us who dont do things so politely. They abuse the unbearable creature to no end and finally find themselves satisfied. Needless to say, Nanda got heavily abused by several he taunted.
As time flew by, the Nanda imitations grew on everyone. From afar it appeared like a virus... yikes! But today we just can't start, continue or end sentences without using 'So to speak'. I just returned from another crazy conversation with Nanda himself...
'Hi Nanda, So to speak, we seem to be doing a thorough job of covering your arse, which, So to speak, is not doing much...' Oh did I forget to tell you, I report to him occassionally!
'So to speak, Its a good job done there but So to speak, I hate to tell you this, that you must improve your Inter-personal Skills, which, so to speak, is not at its best what with habits of using 'So to speak' all the time.' Zapped, thats me!