Confession

I confess that these words
I throw around is like drinking
soup in a slurpy way.
Heard them once
you've heard them all.

I confess that my jaw was broken
That slurpy is no better than I can get.
Wave your hand and give a shrug
Not much would be obvious to those
Outside the crystal ball.

And I confess that between
two noisy groans pass
a million silent ticks.

Some more freckles

MaryAnne,
Thinks she can write,
But all she can do is
Run to the cafe and grab a bite...

booo... sounds like me!Lemme try again

MaryAnne,
Once loved a Ben
Then she grew smarter and
Wondered why him of all men!

Nah.. not quite cute. Once again...

MaryAnne,
Wearing a pretty frock
Soon became ugly
When she sat on a cock!

Ughhh, am becoming like the pondy poetess Suzy! One last try...

MaryAnne,
And she were friends
Although everyone sniggerred
How it was against trends

This one dedicated to a friendship between two girls who loved the same man. And here I am sniggerring... Is it at all possible!?

Freckled

MaryAnne,
Wife of a postman,
Dreams she be a singer
In a far away Jazz band.

Mary Anne,
Fair, freckled child of five
Used to run the mustard fields.
Now she dreams of fire-flies
and the creatures of the night.

Many memories to fill one empty hole

Its 3.28pm on a hot saturday afternoon and am driving past 80ft Rd and hey.... there's that shop! That shop where me and her had... yes we had yummy sugarcane juice there that afternoon! 'Hahahahahehe' am chuckling to myself, what fun it was, it surely was one of those vague afternoons when we had nothing at all to do and had taken off on that usual window shopping spree, one which didnot restrict itself to shopping just by the windows!
We had huge bags of tops, trousers, skirts, shoes, stoles, junk jewellery, a hat, a scarf, cosmetics and hmmm, deodorants too! By the perfume section, I remember, lifting her hand to sniff at the deodorant she was trying out. A guy giggled past as we stood there in that vague pose, of me sniffing her hand. He thought how closely it looked like I were kissing it :)) I was scared that she was trusting too much to my judgement, especially with my nose, and she did that simply because I made her stand by the trial room and look at me trying out all those funny lined skirts while she actually wanted to 'check out' that tall lean chimp-looking man with a beak shaped nose! Ughhh, how can I remember all this!?
Then I remembered, it was most fun by the cash counter where we had to seggregate who bought what! There were these funny items and some extremely costly items which were selected, by either of us, but by the cash counter neither of us felt like owning it and paying for it actually! It was fun simply trying it out. Oh then there were these others, rather cute ones which both of us wanted :) The sales girl seemed quite exasperated at the end of dealing with us. I remember she immediately asked for a shift change and we gave each other this high five! What on earth were we trying to accomplish. Hmm, tired as we were, we very badly wanted to have a drink somewhere and then it struck... was it me or was it her!? Oh well, one of us it struck that we must try out that cheap roadside sugarcane juice man after all this expensive shopping! That was when we hit that place and sat on his blue wooden benches and drank sugarcane juice cracking nonsesnsical stupid jokes as usual...Hmm that was all... oops!!! 3 whole years back!
Hmm, I must stop dreaming and get back home as fast as I can, what's the time... 3.29pm! This is when it hits me hard that... in just 1 tiny minute I can dream of so many memories!

Doubt, then destruction

Self doubt, the worm of unhappy endings,
even the accidental ones.

In the imperfect mold of clay,
I stay,
You may say to you its dear,
Dont break,
Stay.
Can you make much
Of an imperfect mold of clay?

A picture from my birthday party!

Searching New Dimensions

'There are 2 dimensions which everyone is aware of and talk of very intellectually', lectured Yema, the chimp. In the jungle it wasn't uncommon for chimps to be professors. In fact most were, that is, most professors were chimps and then again the reverse too, that is, most chimps were professors! Oh, dont let me confuse you. Well, lets just state that most professors are chimps and most chimps are professors! Before this sounds anymore like a question from a commonly answered test paper for analytical skills, let me quickly get to the next point. These points were not timeless, they were centred around the time Ms. Yema gave her lectures.

'But can any of you give me an idea for another dimension? A dimension which is irrespective of space and time, the commonly talked of ones, and yet a coordinate measured along time, space and this new dimension gives a distinct value.' she asked her class of flummoxed youths. There was Gil sitting on the first row, thoughtful one moment and eager to reply to Ms. Yema's question the next. Upon her request with the raised hand, Ms. Yema motioned her to voice her idea and then Gil blurted out, 'Life Ma'am!'

'Can you explain that briefly, Gil?'
'Well, Ma'am, I was jus' thinking that Life is a line that exists irrespective of Space and Time. If you think of a value of zero for this dimension, we are talking of a dead thing or maybe a non-living one. Any non-zero value would refer to how much life is possessed by a thing at a given co-ordinate value for space and time. So if I say coordinates of the kind (Space, Time, Life) and if I am talking about me today in this class I could represent it as
(Ms. Yema's class-first row-thirdseat, 21-FEB-2006@1056, 50)
There, you now have a distinct value, don't you!?'

'Hmm, that was brilliant Gil, but I have some doubts, for instance, how do you measure life?'

'That is a decision that must be taken given some parameters...'

'(With a laugh!) Are you suggesting the dimension life be again represented as a set of dimensions?'

'That is your idea Ma'am. But I would rather measure life as a sum of (Brain activity + Heart activity + physical activity). It is just like how Space is represented as (x, y, z).'

'And each of these activities will be measured by...? Another set of parameters?'

'Not really, measure of brain activity is a measure of the neural activity, measured by say, standard equipments in the form of EEG(?). Heart activity, a measure of pulse rate maybe(?) and Physical activity measured by the energy burnt, calories spent...'

By now there were several hands raised, eager to support Gil in her theory or beat her with theories of their own. But Ms. Yema was eager to hear from Griz who was sitting, looking out of the window, waiting for it to be poetry class and from Dee who was sitting in the last seat and day-dreaming perhaps. She was about to proceed when the bell rang and she had to end her interesting class.

'Why don't all of you write your essays on this? We can read a few of them in the next class, argue on them and maybe add to them. Ok, then...'

Conversations with God

-" What is the source of this endless grief?"
-" Your stray thoughts and lack of belief."
-" Why does the night weigh on me?"
-" You said, 'let me alone be.' "
-" Who do I go back to? You?"
-" Yes, if your heart wishes to."
(She turns up the volume and dedicates
George Michael's Fast Love to the voice
that is speaking to her, the voice from
behind the 2 am sky that stretches across
the front window and outlines the clouds
with a certain light when u expected absolute
darkness. She can't get her eyes off it.
It is grand. It is beautiful. Certainly powerful.
For a moment she is not alone or is it
another illusion. They groove to the music
and the speedometer rises to 75.
She thinks maybe if she stepped on the gas
a lil more, the sky and she can merge.
The mind conjures union. Will this
moment ever come again? Sometimes
even the faithless want to feel the warm
embrace of the Divine. An old feeling
comes back and she is smiling)
-" I feel lighter, thank you. Now you may go away.
Let's not pretend that you have grand plans for me. "
-" What if I did ? Finish your term of pain but leave
those scorched lips half parted, so that you can drink
when your dew is ready."
Conversations with God or
the illusions of a twisted mind ?
How will she ever know?

Timeless points in Pointless times

Here is a point in '82,
Here is another one in July,
Here is a song I wrote for you,
Join them all you'll have a line.
Who cares what went in between-
A thought of you five years since
A million ones first day of spring.
Dont forget the ride on waves-
End of March, two thousand five.
Points and lines all strewn around,
The tale-writer jots some down,
Then makes a note she by the side,
"Passing clouds in a passing show,
Her lover and she speak no more."

An history of Valentine's Day!

Here's to the one in my big jungle who has had the most colourful and happening Valentine's Day history, Beats, the checked rabbit! He had been vested with this honorable title based on his performance and action on the past four Valentine's Days. Am sure if one peeped further back, they would, for sure, come across more colours and more action!
So let me see, in 2002, he wasn't a checked rabbit then. In one of her numerous moods of fancy, his sweet Valentine demanded that he be adorned in the reddest shirt available in the world. Beats, to hold every honour to his lady's fanciful moods, set out on his cart to find the reddest shirt. What adventure happened on that cart ride, is a story for another day, but the shirt was indeed on his back when he turned up at her doorstep that evening with 25 long stemmed Red Roses, all for the lady and much to the lady's pride at possessing the most obedient partner in the big jungle!
Then came 2003, he wasn't a red rabbit anymore, in fact he was most blue in his moods. But then came around him five little angels, each from a different corner of the jungle and each with 5 long stemmed Red Roses for Beats. Beats switched from blue to merry instantly on receiving 5 long stemmed Red Roses from each of the angels, making it a 25 for him again! In gratitude or maybe mirth, he rushed them to the bowling Rice Bar in the jungle, where whoever spotted Beats sporting his 5 angels on his self, looked up at him in respect and in awe and some in envy and few in pity!
2004 seemed determined to see Beats in a more action-packed Valentine's Day than 2002 and 2003. It made me wonder if the years were competing against each other to see who'd get Beats to have the most happening Valentine's Day of all! His lady love, she said 'come to the bridge by the river Terry at half past five, sweet Beats' and off ran Beats with his shining tail between his legs to the bridge by the river Terry. He had almost reached the bridge when his lady love, she said 'no not the bridge but lets meet Beats, by the Casino at six'. Off ran Beats to meet his lady love by the Casino, he thanked his lucky star Gemini for the additional time for it had slipped his mind, to buy that 25 long stemmed Red Rose pack. As he approached the Casino with his 25 long stemmed Red Roses, his lady love she said 'not the Casino too my Beats, it has to be the Chancery'. Beats puffed and panted but still carried on to the Chancery, it was his lovely lady love after all and he'd do anything for her so what was hopping from Casino to Chancery with 25 long stemmed Red Roses in arm. To cut a longer story a bit, he dined with his lady love under the gaze of the lucky star Gemini and many others. 'Twas an amazing dinner under the Ebony tree!
And then it was 2005. Beats was spotted in a fashionable lounge bar with a partner. No wait, there were many more. Beats was spotted with partners beating. So, Beats was beating the dance floor with his partners and all their partners to the tunes of Disco-Tisco. There was more to the celebrations of St. Valentine's Day that year but not all can be revealed given the confidentiality tags I was made to sign up at the lounge bar. They give you all this information of who is with whom and all that only if you donot mention which lounge bar and shroud the real names and most of the activities under clouds of imagination. So, my friend, you are free to imagine what else happened that night to Beats with his partners and their partners at the lounge bar, go ahead!
Well, well, 2006 it is. I will not ruin my Valentine's Day, prowling around to find out what is happening to Beats today, but I shall update you at the earliest once I myself chance upon the information! And here's to a happening St. Valentine's Day to you!

Save Earth?

Griz, the little bear, sitting atop her soft brown toy pony, ran her pink comb through her cascading curls and looked up at me for an answer to her question. As I looked down at her to answer her as best as I could, I couldn't off course help smirking at God's ways, for here I was not doing much to save my earth, and not much at all to look up to me for and yet here Griz sat looking up at me :) Whereas Griz the little bear making that conscious effort to save the earth in her tiny ways, had to be looked down at :) Forgive me for going astray, I always do that when I dont have much to say. For in reply to her question of what I did to save the earth, I hadn't much to say, except that* Every evening when Smiley SugarBee, the vegetable dealer hands me the vegetables in a plastic bag, I transfer my vegetables to my green cloth bag with yellow dots and leave his plastic bag to reuse.
I wonder though, dear Griz, is there more for me to do?
And what say you Suzy?

To, PrincessDuck, Tea break, 5th May 2004, Amphitheatre!

Dear Duck,

If you try very hard and remember clearly, maybe you will recall a dying desire of mine to paint the sky red and the town blue. If you donot recall, well, hell, then I may or may not have ever told you about this particular dying desire of mine. So it is that I want, very badly, to paint the sky red and the town blue.

And yesterday afternoon at about the time I usually have my lunch, Beats gave me this shot of a quality which ensures I will never be the same again. Well, hell, he gave me this shot. Go through it after you have read my letter, cause there will be so much to ponder after this shot that you might not want to return to my letter after that. Off course I must add my statutory warning of a deep depression happening ever since the shot. Well, hell, so am giving you the shot too!

Why did I never do big things? Why have I been never a part of the big picture? Why have I not captured the moment with my beauty(bah!) or my brains(boo!) or my talents(bah, bah bah!) or maybe even a passion(booooo!)? Why oh why? I have gone into this deep depression and am doubly sure I will never be the same again. Am just a mediocre giraffe with usual big black scars on all the yellow patch that covers me. Am incapable of ever making a dream come true, because I donot even have a dream and worse still, am not dreaming ever after this cause I wont even sleep after this! Well, hell, I think I might need some treatment to come outta this shot.... help!!!

Hmm, so there are the colours for you. My horizon is a gory red, symbolizing an end and the town, am painting it blue with all my sob stories and depression tales. Well, hell, I might catch you too after the shot in a bloody blue!

With love,
Gif