To my faithful friend

What the hell, I say, if u think I am kicking up too big a fuss for being this heart-broken then just leave me alone... am not particularly forcing you to come visit me everyday and pity me and indulge me, just so that I dont go mad enough to commit suicide. If u think thats the worst thing that can happen to me, well, you are so damn wrong. I wont, I assure you I wont, 'cause I simply dont have the guts. If you think indulging me and providing me with nagging company every evening is going to rid me of this 'addiction' as you yourself put it, then you are so damn wrong again. No, nothing's gonna heal me now, not for the time being, if you must know, I am loving sinking in my past and chewing on my memories. If you think a silly trek or a dance class or a trip to the beach is going to provide me that logical relief and distraction, then you are wrong again, 'cause I have no plans of being logical about myself right now. Am going about my necessary activities like a normal person and be thankful to God for that. And lastly, if you think am being extremely harsh on you with this, especially since you are trying to be so nice to me, then am just sorry, am just not in the frame of mind where I can appreciate niceties.

I love Tan still and it kills me that I cannot be there taking care of him today and everyday. What do I want from you, you ask? No sweetie, nothing, just dont worry so much for me or come up with plans to pull me out of this. Am ok. I am a little self obsessed but we all are!

You will come again to visit me this evening, wont you?